New Beginnings
The cycle continues.
Recently after teaching a yoga class, an Indian man thanked and wished me a happy Navratri. I must have looked confused (I was), because he went on to explain that Navratri was a 9-day Hindu celebration to honor the goddess Durga and it was going on that week. I’d heard a little about Durga, and vaguely knew who/what she was/represented. My interest was piqued. I asked questions about the holiday and learned that it was mostly celebrated for women, and to honor the divine feminine. Later, I did more research on the topic and came to understand the specific aspects of devi (goddess) Durga.
Durga is one of the many avatars of shakti (I’ll spare you the educational lecture on shakti; its no big deal - just universal energy which manifests through feminine qualities, that’s all - we’ll talk about it later). Durga’s story is that she was conjured as a warrior to fight evil for good. In depictions and pujas she dons weapons and sits poised atop a tiger. Sometimes Durga looks fierce, and sometimes she looks soft. When shakti is manifested through Durga, she represents protection, strength, motherhood, destruction, and wars.
Wait…Wars? Destruction? Motherhood? Protection? Strength? That basically summarizes the past 10 years of my life!
I’d never felt so seen.
My daughters and I have just moved into a new home after two, long years of saying goodbye to the house in which we became a family. This was the house in which the girls were born. The house where I became a wife and a mother. The house where I rose from the dead after a divorce. This house held and nurtured me over the shifts, shapes, and phases of more than a decade. I loved and cherished my house deeply and actively. Not a season passed without my noticing the way the breeze came through the screen doors or the way the light and shadows came through the windows. I loved the sounds my kids feet made on the floors when they came into my room late-night or early mornings. I loved the noise of the neighborhood, the foot traffic on the sidewalks, and the enormous raccoons who poked their heads out from the sewer gutters every evening at dusk.
Parting ways with our home was, in many ways, harder than parting ways with my ex. The long goodbye to that house was good for my soul and simultaneously hard on my heart.
War, destruction, motherhood, protection, strength.
Over the two years we had our house on the market after the divorce, it became regrettably clear to me that while our home was a symbol of family, growth, and strength - it also representated a long war fought behind its walls and over its dirt. When our home finally sold to new owners, I went out and found a new house in which the girls and I could live. My people - so many amazing people - showed up to help us move into that house. There was so much stuff to move. There were so many things that needed to be shed. We did it slowly and steadily - one corner, one cabinet, one closet at a time. The girls and I are now sinking roots into the floors of our new home. I’m sure over time we will grow limbs, sprout leaves and - who knows - maybe even flower and fruit here too. We are happy here in our new home - it’s quaint, sturdy, and lovely. At the same time it’s different and things still feel a little bit achy.
The cycle continues.
Here’s to the hoping the divine energy of Maa (Mother) Durga can help us embrace our grace and strength in the face of conflict, war, and destruction. Here’s to the protective energy of a mother to that which she holds dear. Here’s to hoping that cycles continue toward love, growth, acceptance to change, and new beginnings.
Check out all of the changes in my new public class schedule - I’m teaching SO MANY classes in Austin during the week and I’m excited to have the opportunity to nurture and make space for your cycles of destruction and new beginnings.
