Joy Comes Back
JOY COMES BACK; A POEM BY DONNA ASHWORTH:
When you finally realize
that joy is less fireworks, more firefly
less orchestra, more birdsong
she will come back much more often
for joy will not fight with the fast pace of this life
she is not in the shiny or the new
she breathes in the basic, simmers in the simple
and dances in the daily to-and-fro
joy has been beckoning you
for many a year, my friend
you were just too busy doing, to see
the very next time joy wraps her quiet warmth around you
as the garden embraces your weary body in it’s wildness
tip her a nod…she doesn’t stay long
but if you are a gracious host
joy comes back.
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When my kids announce to me how bored they are, I look at them with a yearning gaze and reply, “Oh, that sounds wonderful - you’re so lucky to get to feel bored right now!"
I long to be bored. I genuinely enjoy having nothing to do. I love lazy Sundays with loads of coffee, conversation, and naps. I lean into weekends with no plans and feel triumphant when I have a day past noon in pajamas. I find that it’s during this free time with no plans or schedules that the magic of joy sneaks in. This may happen when my kids and I make up a silly game or trail into an interesting conversation or - better yet - they discover some new, strange skill that they didn’t know they had. Sometimes we’ll decide to visit friends, or go for a swim or a walk or a bike ride that turns into an adventure of some sort. I’ve experienced joy by just walking onto the porch and letting warm weather touch my skin, or by sitting at a table with people I love either eating, drinking, talking, or simply in silence.
Boredom begets imagination, curiosity, and creation. It also necessitates action - especially in us continually ticking humans. When we allow ourselves to be bored, experiences unfold organically. Often these experiences are void enough of expectations for joy to come visit.
This isn’t to say that I don’t also enjoy being productive. If I’m being honest, my love for boredom was likely born from a tendency to rely too hard on productivity in search for sense of belonging or worthiness. I mean, is it weird that I literally schedule downtime into my calendar or purposefully leave blocks of time free for spontaneity? To be sure, productivity imbues feelings of accomplishment, pride, sense of self, and individuality - all wonderfully necessary emotions in our human lives. AND (as yoga suggests) it’s imperative to balance productivity and it’s related emotions with rest and digestion, leaving room for creativity, pleasure, and - you guessed it - joy.
Go schedule some space into your days and weeks - you could even give “down time” or “free time” it’s own color in Google Calendar (like I do). Summer is a great time to practice this when the kids are out of school and schedules are already amuck. If you’re traveling over the summer, you could use your vacation as a way to exercise NOT planning, allowing your travel adventures to unfold as they may. Perhaps you could even look for joy in your yoga practice. Notice what feels good and organic rather than pointed and productive when you practice - not because joy is better than productivity - but because sometimes you need to point the arrow back in the direction of joy so that it can more easily find it’s way to you.
I hope joy finds you often.
